Homestuck Epilogues 10: SHES 8ACK.
Hey everyone, still working my way through Candy. Hoping to finish the epilogues this week
Homestuck Epilogues
Candy 27
- Ten years have gone by.
Jane Crocker’s face beams out from a holographic propaganda display, reminding the populace that curfew is in fifteen minutes
- Harry Anderson is together with Vriska
- Huh
- I wonder what happened to John. Did he go back home after Candy 26
- The troll rebellion is still going strong
VRISKA: My moms are totally gonna get me a Prime Commission in the Resist8nce when I turn sixteen!!!!!!!!
- Karkat has an eyepatch
- Hes fucking big boss
VRISKA: If we really do end up absconding from our mediocre Hot Teen Lives to become rebels, then OBVI8USLY I’m going to be the one with the Extremely Dashing And Sexy eyepatch. H8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8!!!!!!!!
- I wish I had a bit of a better grasp on the canon stuff
JADE: the actions, struggles and feelings of its inhabitants are certainly not inconsequential to them.
JADE: while abstracted heavily, and fully freed from all forces of narrative gravity, these events still represent possibilities that slept within the hearts of all who reside here.
- I am interpreting to mean as the events of candy are inconsequential to Homestuck in general, but they still matter because they're being experienced
- They matter because they were wrote down and happened, but they have no effect on the canon 'Meat' version
- John clearly showed back up at some point. He was best man at Dave and Jade's wedding
- Roxy and John got divorced
By the time Roxy finally cut things off between them, he hadn’t personally seen her smile in years.
- Karkat is here!
KARKAT: IT’S JUST THAT BREAK UPS ARE HARD, AND OFTEN HAVE UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES THAT CAN LINGER FOR YEARS.
JOHN: you’re telling me. when my wife left me, she took an entire political faction with her.
- Karkat just fucking repelled away
... Jesus Christ, are they seriously almost forty? Yes ...
DAVE: so i guess “the joke” was like
DAVE: haha dont literally commit suicide at my wedding dude lol
- Dave and Jade joined the rebellion it sounds like
- Karkat is actually with Meenah, huh
That feeling that he’s still waiting for something, and the even worse feeling that years ago, he missed his only chance to put an end to it. If you stand on a very high hill at dawn, you can watch your shadow move in an arc around you.
Ten years to the day he last spoke with Terezi, John finally gets rid of her photograph. He stands at the top of a very high hill, rips it into six pieces and lets the wind carry it away. Whatever else happens now... it doesn’t matter.
- There's still like. Half of candy to go
Candy 28
- VRISKA IS HERE
- She's also been stabbed with some broken reality
VRISKA: I NEED TO SEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Candy 29
- Trolls have taken the rebellion to the human capital it looks like
- Something is going to fall in the capital, that Alt!Calliope needs
- The something is a he
Candy 30
- Jane's dad is dead
JANE: An unfortunate incident, but it’s no matter.
- Oh my god he got fucking exploded
- He really did a 'get down mr president' and saved him from a fucking RPG
GAMZEE: hOnK iF yOu LoVe ThIs BiG tItTy BiZzNaTcH!
- Jane wants retribution
JANE: THE TIME TO ACT IS NOW!
JANE: THEY WILL PAY FOR WHAT THEY’VE DONE!
JANE: EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF THEM!
JANE: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE!
...
JANE: WE WILL BE GOING DIRECTLY TO MEET WITH THE PRESIDENT, AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL HE GIVES THE COMMAND TO CRUSH THIS FUCKING REBELLION AND DESTROY ANY CHANCE THAT THEY MIGHT EVER RESIST AGAIN!
...
The time for mercy is long past. Karkat Vantas must die.
- Jesus fucking christ
Candy 31
VRISKA: John, are you old?
- Vriska ain't having a good time, even beyond the bleeding and the stabbing
(VRISKA): Why do Rose and Kanaya h8ve a DAUGHTER n8med after ME!?
JOHN: explains it
(VRISKA): Stupidest *F8CKING* thing I’ve ever heard!
- John fucked it by eating some candy
(VRISKA): Good fuck. Do you actually think reality gives that much of a shit a8out you?
(VRISKA): Get real, Eg8ert.
(VRISKA): It’s not like you’re me.
- She's so Vriska
(VRISKA): Someone get me the hell out of this fucking NIGHMT8RE 8efore I re8lly L8SE MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- It literally only just occurred to me that Gamzee was drinking Jane's breastmilk
- IOcan't really explain why I didn't catch on earlier
Candy 32
- (Vriska) just beat Gamzee to near death and. Now they're fucking?
- Rose is here so we can not focus on this!
Candy 33
- Vriska and Rose are here! And Vriska hugged John
- Rose is going to explain the canon stuff again I think
- Three pillars of canon: Essentiality, Relevance and Truth
- They lack truth
ROSE: So while we, in our subjective experiences of conscious perception, feel in this moment that we have known each other for a very long time, technically it’s not true at all.
- I feel like my understanding has not improved substantially
Candy 34
VRISKA: I’m gonna 8reeze through here like a High Money Roller getting sweepstakes at the 8lackj8ck table!
HARRY ANDERSON: you should probably actually gamble once in your life before you try to make gambling metaphors, babe. because that was dire.
...
VRISKA: Yeah, well, he S8YS that, but he’s here right now and my mom’s saying a bunch of G8y Shit to him.
VRISKA: They’re hugging and Reminiscing a8out how Old And Sad they are or wh8tever.
...
- Oh no
- Vriska just found (Vriska) fucking Gamzee
Candy 35
GAMZEE: HeY (vRiSkA) mY bOoTyLiCiOuS bAbY bItCh.
- He wastes no time moving on
- Hey remember how something was going to happen in the earth capital with alt!Calliope
- Vriska just snuffed out Gamzee
- Thank FUCKING god
Vriska: (Eep!)
...
Vriska: Hey.
(Vriska): Sup.
Stopping Point
I am stopping there for today. This has been a wild fucking ride and I've made a fair bit of progress with Candy. I am really excited to see how this keeps going but jesus this keeps. Happening. Candy is fucking bizarre but at least things seem a bit more normal now that Vriska is here. Or well I guess since Vriska murdered Gamzee.