Homestuck Epilogues 4: ALT!CALLIOPE.

Homestuck Epilogues

Meat 21

• Dave keeps putting his foot in his mouth by talking while witnessing the mother grub give birth(?)
• Fully inserted the foot into his mouth

KARKAT: BUT I’M KIND OF WITNESSING THE REBIRTH OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES RIGHT HERE.

KARKAT: YOU EVER THINK THAT THIS MIGHT BE A MONUMENTAL MOMENT FOR ME?

KARKAT: THAT I MIGHT BE AWESTRUCK AT THE PURE MAJESTY OF THIS SIGHT?

...

DAVE: yeah but it is totally disgusting right

• Or maybe not?

KARKAT: IT’S HORRIBLE

KARKAT: TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I WOULD HAVE GLADLY GONE THE REST OF MY WRETCHED EXISTENCE WITHOUT EVER SEEING THIS.

• Kanaya is here!!!!
• Apparently trolls being clones is because Kanaya wanted to birth the mother grub, but also wanted to wait 5000 years?
• Jane reminds Kanaya of Feferi, which tracks
• Kanaya is gonna vote for Karkat
• "Board Of Responsible Troll Reproduction"
• No one seems to actually understand how anyone else's reproduction works
  • Can carapaceians even reproduce naturally, I thought they were all clones.
• Dave and Karkat don't know about Rose's awakening, unsure about Kanaya.
• Kanaya calls Rose, but Dirk is answering
• He puts her on hold so we can be John

Meat 22

• Dirk seems to be ruminating on everyone joining into one god
• Meenah is here!
• Meenah just jacked the ring of life from John, or well a second one she gto from Aranea again

Meat 23

• More of Kanaya and Dirk talking in circles about the fact something is clearly wrong if Dirk is answering Rose's phone

Kanaya loves Rose, but sometimes love just isn’t enough. Sometimes what you need is understanding.

• Kanaya is going over there

Meat 24

• John is struggling to motivate himself to try and heal his body
• He finds and takes Jade's shoes
• Terezi is here!!!

TEREZI: H3Y LOS3R

Meat 25

• Rose is monologuing about humanity
• They're doing entry level wikipedia philosophy at eachother.

DIRK: Seriously, Rose. Do you think that you have free will?

ROSE: I...

DIRK: Stand up.

She tries to stand up, but I haven’t narratively allowed it yet.

• Dirk's ability to author new narrative seems to allow the characters to act?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together.

DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart.

• Dirk can help Rose see the narrative, like he can
• By being beyond canon they can't seem to balance meat/candy properly, whatever they represent
• And Dirk thinks he can do it properly
• Rose renounces her humanity and individuality to join with Dirk(?)

The truth belongs to me. And as of now, so does she.

I think this is the point where I'm supposed to stop and read candy? But I am going to keep reading meat I thiiiiink?

Meat 26

• Jade!
• Jade is still trying to enter the supermassive black hole

Jade Harley will not go into that hole. She does NOT want us to all to see what happens when she unsettles the spirit residing there.

she does, though.

Meat 27

• Alt!Calliope and Dirk are fighting
• We're back on earth C, and Jade is awake again
• Alt!Calliope is just ignoring Dirk
• It reads a little bit like some kind of free-form roleplay where one person is just trying to force through their ideas
• Alt!Calliope is using Jade's body as a vessel.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

...

it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

• Calliope did a runner
• "The Work"
• The more Alt!Calliope goes on, the smaller Dirk's text is. She's snuffing him out like a match.
• He's basically gone
• So some stuff about, psychology can affect your control of the narrative?

Meat 28

• Alt!Calliope is, exhaustive in her descriptions.
• Terezi is starving to death
• It's unclear how long she's been out here in, what remains of the furthest ring.
• John deploys a car!
• Terezi is coming to understand time has passed for John while she's searched for Vriska out here
• Terezi doesn't want to leave, she wants to stay here.
• They're going, somewhere

Meat 29

• Jane is using trickster mode for campaigning.
• Is alt!Calliope a fascist?
• Oh Dirk is here but in the normal way
• Dirk is trying to hide whatever he's doing from Alt!Calliope
• Apparently Jake is also a bit of a slut? I would not have expected that
• Jane keeps being xenophobic

DIRK: That’s because lately, all your ideas have been fucking terrible, Jane.

• Dirk seems to want to get Jake, maybe his hope powers will somehow put Dirk back on top

Meat 30

• crockernet image search

DAVE: isnt it fucked up how jane literally owns the internet??

JAKE: Id never really thought about it i admit.

DAVE: its pretty fucked up trust me

• Dave seems to understand what a superpac is

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS!

KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE!

DAVE: yeah its awesome

KARKAT: YOU’RE WASTING CAMPAIGN MONEY!!!

• Dirk no longer has his hand up Jake's ass like a puppet, and is considering siding with no one
• Jake is siding with Karkat and Dave against Jane

Ending Point

Thank you for reading. I am loving the epilogues so far.