Homestuck Epilogues 7: CANDY.

Hi again! I know I may have said 'tomorrow' nearly 10 days ago but I got a bit distracted with things. Also I just saw some news about Discord that is stressing me out. It feels like every week we're witnessing another of the thousand cuts that will kill the free and open internet for most people and there is nothing that can be done to stop it.

Other then that I've just, been a bit busy. But I've been wanting to come back and read some more of the epilogues. Which naturally means it's time to start Candy.

Homestuck Epilogues

Candy 1

• John is staying
• That made Roxy pretty happy
• And Calliope!
• Calliope has plans for John???
• John has to liberate Gamzee
• What
• Why

Candy 2

CALLIOPE: tell Us what pains yoU. let it all oUt, friend.

CALLIOPE: we are here for yoU. u_u

GAMZEE: i BeEn A bItCh AsS nAuGhTy MoThErFuCkEr. :o(

• I did not think Candy would be this Gamzee heavy
• Oh Terezi is here again
• She wants John to kick Gamzee in the balls
• She's still searching for Vriska

Candy 3

• Things have heated up for Dirk rather quickly
• Everything is cancelled and he seems like he's having a heart attack

The sun is setting both physically and metaphorically right now. Not bad, he thinks, then corrects himself, because while there is always time to delight in the volatility of causality, the whole situation is actually and for real astonishingly bad.

Candy 4

• Rose is in the hospital.
• She is not going through her 'ascension'
• Carapacian nurse!
• I like Rose and Kanaya, they're a fun pair.

Candy 5

• Jade!
• I like the bits with these three. They're neat
• I hope we get more of awake Jade
• It does also make me feel kinda bad about. Having wasted 5 years
• :c

JADE: dave its like karkats your adorable little house husband!!!

...

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS A HUSBAND?

• She's sticking her fingers into Karkat's mouth now
• ITS A TRAP HE BIT HER
• Jane cancelled her run for President

Candy 6

• Jake has a firing range inside his home
• Normal

JAKE: You worry far too much jane! Life has become so peaceable on this new planet of ours that i suppose dirk has merely tired of this idyllic life. It has either driven him permanently or temporarily insane.

• It seems like choosing Candy resulted in everyone being unceremoniously liberated from Dirk's control
• Or is that the fact that they're not in the 'meat' timeline where they 'do things that matter'
• She is trying to come onto Jake and he's just not having it

Candy 7

• Time seems to advance a lot faster in Candy
• Is Gamzee going to be the Earth C Charles Manson?
• More comments about the colour of the sky
• John got out of bed for a Coffee shop.
• Roxy has been wanting to spend more time with John
• Calliope feels like John is stealing Roxy from her?

Gamzee lumbering into the cafe with all the grace of an aubergine sasquatch sporting an epic erection

• I was not expecting there to be so much of Gamzee in Candy. I mean I guess it makes sense in a way but still
• Gamzee just called John 'Egg Boy'
• Gamzee things John should do a redemption arc?
• Mainly for, not banging Roxy?

GAMZEE: A CaPiTaL MoThErFuCkIn cRiMe tO Be sQuAnDeRiNg eArTh pUsSy lIkE ThAt.

JOHN: holy shit?

Candy 8

• Rose and Kanaya!
• "Who would run against Jane? Karkat?"
• Oh theres a new troll! "SWIFER" who is also a jade blood.

She talks a little like a parody of a 1920s newsboy archetype, which Rose can only theorize has to do with Jane’s influence on the culture.

• It's almost time for the first troll reproduction!
• Kanaya and Rose agree that it would be strange and irresponsible for the sburb players to exercise political power.

ROSE: Kanaya, you’re the “coolest chick” I know.

• The mother grub just birthed a new Vriska?

KANAYA: There Are Two Things Of Which I Have No Doubt

KANAYA: That You And I Are Going To Be Happy For The Rest Of Our Lives

KANAYA: And That We Are Never Ever Going To See Vriska Again

• They're gonna adopted the mini Vriska

Stopping Point

God, the epilogues are good.

This definitely, made me feel better then I was feeling earlier. And I'm excited to see where Candy goes and then start hs^2 or something else for this.

Thank you for reading.