Homestuck Re-read Part 44: 64% COMPLETE.

I've decided I'm going to finish up my fswatch service[^1] and then start trying to port this website to my new server framework. Part of this is so I can start dogfooding it before using it for my owner's website or open sourcing it. I also want to be able to move onto other projects and try some new ideas.

There is approx 170 pages in today's upd8. It's time to get started.

Homestuck

I love character select screens! They afford me choice in the order in which I read Homestuck.

CHARACTER SELECTION

JANE

We rejoin our juvenile detective right after she gains access to the crypt. Hot on the trail of her father. Things on earth are moving fast though, so a quick side quest to get Roxy into the medium. Her 'neighborhood' is on fire, under attack from drones and being molested by red miles She gets a bit distracted though and Jane goes tumbling down the looking glass.

The other end of the looking glass is on Derse, currently under harassment from the draconian dignitary's red miles. Dirk's dreamself is there and so is Jake for some reason?

JAKE

Well I guess that won't be a mystery for too long. He just sent Liv Tyler off to Jade back in the beta kid's universe which. If I think about it wasn't that condemned to non-existence as a result of the scratch? Whatever.

Anyway he needs to get the spherical lab part of his house back that rolled down that giant hole. There seems to be a pair of transportalizers at the bottom, however. One purple and one gold. He jumps down and decides to just take the important thing in the lab. The other fenestrated wall stolen from Jack Noir in this session.

The autoresponder shows up to again start hurrying people into downloading sburb. Same deal as Roxy: Drones, Fire, Red Miles. Just like last time, after deploying everything Jake goes against instructions and transportalizes himself onto Derse. Autoresponder makes another Alice in Wonderland reference.

We see Dirk and Jane and then it's back to character selection.

ROXY

She is having a really bad day. There is fire, there are murder drones, there are chess guys following her around like she's jesus and there are internet guys trying to talk to her. She has messages from Jane trying to check on her and the autoresponder trying to work out what's going on with her. We also find out why she's just been running around constantly

TG: ive been trying to i guess

TG: round up some neighbors

TG: whenever i see them

TG: and try to get then to follow me home

TG: whichis harder than is sounds!

TT: That seems like a very inefficient and risky use of your time.

TG: i know but

TG: they always seem confused and dont know what todo

TG: and everythings bunring down

TG: i think i should try to take some with me i cant just leave all of the poor chess guys here to die

Roxy seems like she's going along with the plan a lot more then Jane and Jake at least.

We get to see UU again quickly. The blackout of the alpha session is soon and it might be because Roxy stops drinking? Would be an interesting quirk of sburb. She also asks UU if she knows what the red miles are.

UU: i do know a thing or two aboUt the red miles.

UU: it is the qUeen's favoUred attack. very long distance and omnidirectional.

UU: bUt once Upon a time, her weapon was stolen by a UsUrper. jacked, yoU coUld say, right off her ring finger. and then given a considerable boost in power.

UU: that gave the miles enoUgh of a kick to rip a Universe to shreds.

UU: and they have been doing so to yoUrs and its many instances for eons.

UU: only now have they caUght Up to yoUr instance. it is qUite fortUnate it has taken so long, really.

UU: some instances are tUcked deeper in the speaker's mighty blow sack, and will hold oUt for mUch longer, on a vast cosmic scale of coUrse.

She has to get home and start getting ready to get in the game. UU will have a gift for her!

DIRK

Oh god its fucking uu again. He does explain to Dirk that the red miles on earth are not the same as the red miles on Derse. The ones on earth are from Bec Noir! Caliborn also seems to have a gift for Dirk or perhaps it'd be better to call it payment for helping build something. He just has to burn Lil Cal to get it.

A fine art drawing representing uu and Dirk's 'human friendship'. As well as "The Bitches" enjoying their own company. After that he sees the two on Derse and we are out of character selection.

Free Will And Such

Roxy gets home and starts putting her new refugees to work beating out fires. She then gets to work multitasking Jake into the medium and talking with UU. But mainly doing a kinda hacker rap.

UU may be about to die, she's going to sleep one last time before intending to start sburb; but that could be when uu gets her. She sends Roxy a drawing to remember her by. Oh trickster mode, such candy coloured delight. We learn UU can't feel romantic emotions apparently, although she would like too. I'm wondering if this is one of those things. Anyway, we also learn her name is Calliope. We also learn why she and uu couldn't share their names: if they read the other's name they fall asleep. Somehow. She tells Roxy her name as a failsafe, hoping that if she vanishes for a long time that Roxy can use it to knock uu out and get Calliope back.

We also learn Calliope isn't actually a troll, she's just a big fan of them.

UU: trolls are a remarkable and fascinating race.

UU: hUmans are too, please don't get me wrong!

UU: bUt i am oUt and oUt smitten with trolls and their history and ways.

UU: they have sUch amazing, coloUrfUl social dynamics that soUnd like so mUch fUn to be a part of.

UU: and they are so beaUtifUl.

UU: i wish i coUld be that pretty.

She's actually a cherub instead, not the biblical kind though. Very isolationist species, outside of mating a cherub lives alone. She also has some rather ominous shit to say. Their session isn't going to be two players, but just one. Somehow. She was to be a Muse of space, the female and passive master class of sburb. There isn't any explanation for what a muse does from Calliope, but the wiki has a few theories about them.

The conversation wraps up and Calliope starts to remove her alternian getup. Underneath all the grey paint she's green. The room she's in looks nightmarish, candy swimming in meat juices next to raw steaks and a broken chessboard on the floor. She also seems to be shackled to something in the middle of the room. Her walls are covered in artwork of the alpha kids as well as her trollsona, "Callie Ohpeee" I think a lot of people can unfortunately relate to wishing to be their OC in their favorite setting, I know I can.

Calli and uu share a sylladex where they can only access what the other captchalogues. Meaning hers is essentially full of /b/ posts aimed at her.

Calliope somehow has Rose's tome documenting the plan. Including the dicks that Karkat and Dave did. Although it looks like someone went through and redacted some information. Mostly stuff about LORD ENGLISH and his various henchmen. Also Gamzee. She also has a ~DTH instructional book which she uses as storage for fanfiction.

She has one of those weapons that switches between two things. One appears to be Scratch's magnum and the other a magic wand. She also has a JuJu, but we aren't going to see it. She also has a SARWAPAGUS(?) instead of a bed. Oh and she shares a body with uu.

Outside looks a bit grim. Must be close to the equator. It also seems to be on the troll's meteor, embedded in the ground. On, some version of earth. A very odd version of earth.

ANOTHER CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN???

But this one is presented by uu, for some reason. To "bond" with Calli.

JANE, AGAIN

Oh god is he going to talk to us the whole way through.

Jane, unfortunately, gets got. Red Miles. Jake, Dirk and Lil Sebastian are naturally panicked. The route back to Jake's house is blocked off. Unluckily for uu, Roxy sobers up and blocks out the viewport.

A quick bit of art to seal the deal.

JAKE, AGAIN

You know what uu I kind of agree, I don't see why people find Jake attractive but I think thats more to do with being a gay girl and also not a child. Lil Sebastian rushes Jake back through the transportalizer before it's crushed and jetpacks him back home.

Although a dragon does detonate them. Jake throws the helmet on and saves himself from death, but uu seems to think he's a fan. Or just stealing his style.

Art.

ROXY, AGAIN

Roxy is apparently a "Top shelf hoe" according to uu. Every time he says bitches or hoe or something I get one step closer to hearing him in Zimos' voice.

Roxy is very much in danger. The viewport goes black before he gets his "money shot" so he just imagines it instead.

And, of course, draws it.

DIRK, AGAIN

uu has a 'soft' spot for dirk, as always. He nearly sees Dirk get crushed by falling Derse junk. So he again imagines it and draws it for us

That, seems to not be purely imagination. Roxy is dead and so is Dirk's dreamself. Also there goes Lil Cal.

Art

All but the most dim of lights go out on that weird lantern display from before. Drawing this update to a close.

Thank you for reading.

[^1]: I could use fsnotify but the weird cross platform issues, duplicate events, lack of recursive watching and problems with watching an individual file made me feel like it would be easier to just roll my own. I currently have individual file watching by checking modification times and file hash comparisons and now just need to expand to directories and then subdirectories.