Homestuck Re-read Part 75: DAVEPETASPRITE^2.
2^8 pages for today's upd8! After this there will be 200ish pages remaining including the credits1. Assuming there is no upd8 tomorrow, that means if they want to finish on new years eve, they have to ration it to 66 pages a day, but theres also only 159 pages until Collide.
Hold on, the page numbering is fuckin confusing me. Looking at the numbers for part 4 and Act 6 Act 6 I am unsure how it all links together. It doesn't help that the segmenting of Homestuck into acts and parts gets a bit stupid. Okay so there is, at most, 200 pages left I think. It's, so weird being so close to the end. I don't really know how I'm going to handle it, having this daily ritual come to an end. I'm definitely going to miss Homestuck, because there is absolutely nothing else like it.
I guess there's no point putting it off, lets get started.
HOMESTUCK.
DAVE AND DIRK
We are starting out with Dave and Dirk bonding together, ater Jasproseprite^2 just left. They don't say, a huge amount or say anything to clear the air between eachother at all. I wouldn't really know what to say to, who they represent to each other either.
Well, thats them for now. We'll come back to them later I guess.
ROSE, ROXY, JOHN, CALLIOPE, JANE, TEREZI
Calliope gets introduced to the rest of the gang. Cali is a bit struck by the fact everyone finds her pretty and not, horrifically disturbing.
JANE: This is your true form, I presume?
CALLIOPE: ...
JANE: I think both Roxy and the enthusiastic cat girl are correct.
JANE: Your natural appearance is quite handsome!
CALLIOPE: gosh.
CALLIOPE: i'm sorry, i do not know how to reply to sUch remarks.
CALLIOPE: maybe it is becaUse i can't bring myself to agree, no matter how nice it is for yoU to say so.
We get a, rather inspiring and assuring bit between John and Calliope.
JOHN: what do you think you will do with your life, now that you're alive and free from your jerky bro?
CALLIOPE: ooh, Uh... wow.
CALLIOPE: i hadn't thoUght aboUt it!
CALLIOPE: the idea is overwhelming, really.
JOHN: well, don't sweat it.
JOHN: you'll have a lot of time to figure it out.
JOHN: that's kind of the point of life, right? to take a lot of time floundering around, figuring stuff out.
JOHN: the answer will come to you eventually. you should just try to have fun!
Definitely is, one of the things that makes me feel a little bit better about myself. As someone who is having to spend a lot of time figuring stuff out.
They discuss the nature of Calliope's arrival, and if it has any significance. If having the ring, returning from the dead for a final battle, etc has any meaning. But that it likely doesn't.
PRE-RETCON VRISKA, MEENAH
They're still hanging out together, somewhere in the furthest ring. They're talking a lot about horses. Meenah seems, a bit sad and bored of her existence. They're interrupted by Post-Retcon Vriska.
ROXY, CALLIOPE
Roxy and Calliope IRL time! Callie is a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. She isn't entirely sure still of her place in paradox space. She still wants to be useful however, and Roxy seems to have something she wants to try with a space-y person. She wants to manifest the matriorb.
TEREZI, ROSE, JOHN, JANE
Rose is not having a great time, considering she's got Jasprosesprite^2 running around out there somewhere. It gets pointed out that John is the only beta kid who hasn't been sprite-d in some way. We get some more stuff that I think connects to beyond canon/ultimate self stuff when Rose discusses if she is still the 'real' Rose, or if Jasprosesprite^2 has somehow usurped her. We also get
ROSE: Yes. To make sure I stay regarded as the exemplary model.
ROSE: To provide assurance that the concept of Roseness itself doesn't degrade due to black market peddlers of substandard shit.
ROSE: Basically, I need to defend the integrity of the brand.
Which is just. Such a Rose thing and makes her sound like an insane streamer type person for a moment in isolation.
There is now some John/Terezi blackrom flirting. Where we get reminded that Dave is the only person who can actually compare his bro and Dirk.
ROXY
Roxy and Calliope sit around while Roxy tries to do the voidy thing. Hope for the continuation of the troll species is found.
JASPROSESPRITE^2, JANE
cat sounds cat sounds, *stretch!!*
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you know I love you?? Weird thing for me to say and you to hear, probably!
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I inherited the adoration our cat had for you, which now strangely is directed with the exact same intensity at myself, because I'm you!
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funnily enough this manifests itself in a particularly acute form of narcissism, which is something we were already sort of afflicted by, and so was our cat by the very nature of the sort of animal he was!
JASPROSESPRITE^2: The bottom line is I'm pretty twisted up inside in all the most beautiful ways and it's wonderful.
ROSE: It really isn't.
She quickly abducts Jane to prepare for healing duty. She is taken to meet Nanasprite.
ROXY, CALLIOPE AGAIN
Roxy leaves Callie on what appears to be LOLAF with the mayor and Jade, to help keep them safe. She kisses or hugs Callie before leaving.
DIRK, DAVE
They're going over the battle plan again. They have no idea when the fighting will start.
They're talking about, how meeting each other is going. It is really not, going well. Dave is colder on it then Dirk, which makes sense. Dirk is enough like how Dave remembers his bro that he's essentially inherited Dave's feelings for his brother. Which are, well, negative..
DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me
DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him
DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code
DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass"
DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing
...
DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism
DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to
He tries to offer a defence of Dirk. He isn't Bro, he had a different life and isn't even Bro's age yet. But Dirk accepts responsibility for it anyway. They talk about what Dave was like as an adult, or at least how he was remembered.
I want to summarise the, conversation on that section of pages but I don't really, feel like I can. I think you should read it for yourself. It's sort of beautiful, really. They finally share a hug.
ROXY, KANAYA
God their interactions are cute. She presents the jade blood with the new Matriorb. Kanaya gently takes it from her and inspects it.
KANAYA: Is It
KANAYA: Real
ROXY: yeah!!!
She cries green tears of joy. Her role that is seemingly the entire basis of her existence in some way, can now be fulfilled. She has the opportunity to propagate and care for her people again.
KANAYA: I Dont Know What To Say
KANAYA: This Changes So Much
KANAYA: About Everything I Thought I Had To Do
It is, adorable getting to see Roxy bond with, her step mother? In a sort of way. Such a sweet interaction at this point in the build up to the ultimate showdown.
KANAYA: I Guess Im Judging Your Accomplishment From An Especially Personal Vantage
KANAYA: But No Matter What Else You Have Been Through
KANAYA: I Believe You Can Say Youve Done Something As Important As Anyone Could Ever Hope To Do
...
ROXY: i really hope it all works out and you make a super successful trollworld 2
KANAYA: Yeah
KANAYA: I Want It To Be A Good Place
KANAYA: Not So Much Like Where Im From
Kanaya is now unsure of what to do. She was preparing for battle but now needs to guard the Matriorb. They leave together, resolving that Kanaya will fight even harder now she has something to protect.
VRISKA, MEENAH, (VRISKA) AGAIN
Vriska takes the treasure from the pair and, is not at all kind about it.
VRISKA: 8e quiet. I'm talking.
VRISKA: Look at you.
VRISKA: Just looooooook at you.
VRISKA: How completely pathetic.
(VRISKA): What?
(VRISKA): What's your pro8lem?!
VRISKA: My pro8lem is you make me fucking sick.
VRISKA: Did you know that?
VRISKA: That it was possi8le for you to go so far down whatever toilet you decided to jump into however long ago, that you could literally make your own stomach turn?
(VRISKA): I'm not a loser though!
(VRISKA): I LIKE who I've 8ecome.
(VRISKA): I actually feel happy and good a8out my life for the first time in... may8e forever??
(VRISKA): Like, ACTUALLY good a8out my life in a way that feels real, instead of forced. Don't you realize that's what it was like for us?
VRISKA: You don't have a life!VRISKA: You're DEAD, remem8er?
VRISKA: I'm the one with the life!
Hypocritical,
VRISKA: How did you die, again?
VRISKA: Weren't you 8eing stu88orn and insisting on going off to fight Jack, even though that was o8viously an ill-conceived plan that was going to get everyone killed?
VRISKA: There it is again, making it all a8out you, even when trying to 8e heroic. You let that need 8lind you and you did something really stupid, 8asically leaving NO OTHER OPTION 8ut for you to get killed.
and petty.
VRISKA: Hey, did you...
VRISKA: Did you GAIN W8, too????????
(VRISKA): What?!
(VRISKA): No!(VRISKA): I didn't... I'm not...
VRISKA: Yes you did. I'm not 8lind, you know.
(VRISKA): I'm not fat!!!!!!!!
It doesn't even end with post-retcon Vriska. Betrayal is in every corner. It is in every way, viscerally upsetting. To see a version of her who has grown and matured as a person be betrayed by the one who helped her along. Even worse is because to Meenah, this is for Vriska's sake, that she can't be trusted to be around someone as vulnerable and feeling as pre-retcon Vriska.
- She walks away with post-retcon Vriska, breaking into tears as she leaves her ex-girlfriend behind in the void.
:c
OH BOY A DECISION
JANE.
It's her introduction to, herself! With a rather formal greeting between them. Which, for reasons I can't really explain, is causing me to tear up a little. Maybe the searing, neon blue text they both write in is agitating my ocular lobes strangely or the text is, extremely moving for reasons I can't really explain.
There is also a second Nanasprite that. I cannot explain. Oh, wait yes. John took LOWAS from his timeline, where Nanasprite survived.
I need to, go outside at some point.
JAKE.
He's just, hanging out with Tavrosprite. Clearing his head before the fight with Spades Slick and The Felt. Granted, he's not clearing it with anything... incredibly productive.
JAKE: Ive pretty much concluded that im a complete waste of everyones time if i bother busying their lives with my brand of beeswax and buffoonery.
JAKE: I settled square on the determination that i need to just be alone for most of my life and you know what im perfectly ok with that idea.
...
TAVROSPRITE: i THINK i AGREE WITH YOU,
Jasprosesprite^2 then arrives and sets of Tavros' allergies. Which she somehow then cures via a magical tablet / placebo button from a pillow.
She proceeds with the work of raising Nepeta from the dead.
JASPROSESPRITE^2: You are gorgeous, dear, sweet Nepeta. You deserve only happiness and fulfillment.
JASPROSESPRITE^2: And from this moment forward I shall see to it that those are the only things you will ever know!
The terrible work is complete.
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < hi!
The catgirl lives again.
Incoming Call.
VRISKA: Hi! Is this Joke I'm speaking to?
JAKE: Yes.
VRISKA: Hi Joke, nice to hear from you again.
VRISKA: This is Vriska.
She has him pull out the, somehow concealed on him Crocker GCAT attractor thing Next, instruct Tavros to grab the cat. Another first guardian sprite, but one who is allergic to its own existence.
JAKE: I guess youre right.
JAKE: Maybe old tavvys actually pretty lucky to have a friend like you.
VRISKA: There you go!
VRISKA: See Joke? You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for.
She is definitely, one of the characters of All Time.
Meenah then immediately attempts to determine if this new Vriska is a datable age.
They travel around for a little bit while coming up with a plan for a replacement army. They still don't even know what 'the weapon' actually does yet.
They see something off in the distance. It's Tavros and a fucking militia. Not with ghosts kidnapped and pressed into service, but ghosts that Tavros inspired to take up the cause of defeating Lord English willingly. Which Vriska fucking freaks out over, because this version of her is horrible.
TAVROS: aWWWWWWWWW, yEAH!, bITCHEZ!
TAVROS: oR FAILING THAT, sOMETHING LESS DISCOURTEOUS TO WOMEN, tO CALL YOU BOTH!
...
There is some, substantial military internal politik-ing that leads to Meenah being in charge.
BACK WITH JAKE AGAIN
There is some kind of Alice in Wonderland type deal happening here. Or well, Jasprosesprite^2 is going on an alice in wonderland themed date with Nepetasprite? Oh this is some strange Jaspersprite thing I think?
JASPROSESPRITE^2: In fact, we spoke once. While I was still just a cat. Don't you remember?
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < uhhh
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < wait a minute
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yes...
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yes i think i do remember that!
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < that was fun! :DD
...
JAKE: Whatever happened to janes bunny friend... what was his name?
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Huh?
JAKE: Little sebastian i think?
JAKE: Whered he scamper off to?
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jake, what are you talking about.
JAKE: He would be PERFECT for this tea party!
JAKE: Like the white rabbit and all.
...
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Anyway, enough of that horseshit.
It then goes, really about as well as you'd expect a date between a recently resurrected Nepeta and a half cat half girl that she talked too a handful of times when it was just the cat. The sort of, absurd-pushing-abusive (were it not the thoughts of a dead girl melded with the impulse control of a dead cat) discussion is interrupted by an unexpected return
DAVESPRITE: hey whats up
Same one from the pre-retcon timeline, I guess he must have stayed on LOWAS after the battleship arrived.
DAVESPRITE: so what kind of ludicrous nonsense do you have going here in the land of stonehenges and a big purple X
DAVESPRITE: is that
DAVESPRITE: is that egbert lookin dude supposed to be the fucking mad hatter JAKE: Yeah!!!
DAVESPRITE: ok
DAVESPRITE: whats with the fridge
DAVESPRITE: please dont tell me somebodys locked in that fridge
GAMZEE: HONK
Jasprosesprite^2 introduces him to Nepetasprite, so they both go for a handshake
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < claw claw meowtherfuckers!!!
I fucking LOVE Davepetasprite^2.
CALLIOPE
At long last, the meeting we've all been waiting for. The meeting of Calliope and The Mayor. She ponders aloud what is happening in the dream bubble with The Muse.
JADE
The pair are returning to the green sun while trying to impart knowledge onto Jade. They discuss the nature of the furthest ring, and the breakdown in seperation of time and space it cause, and how it extends to all other aspects too. I do not remember, anything really about Alternate Calliope past this point.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2
They are, just. One of the creatures of all fucking time. I fuckin love them.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im confused about my gender suddenly
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < what am i now?
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I don't know, Dave.
They are now just, some kind of wonderful abomination that again seems to be connected to the ultimate self type thing.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sure is a clusterfuck of sad dead daves and sad dead nepetas in my head
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it f33ls alright tho
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < like im a lot more detached from those experiences than i ever felt before?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but also
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < there is a distinct f33ling of having one dave and nepeta stand out from the crowd of memories
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the versions of davesprite and nepeta i existed as right up until we both shook hands
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < they still kinda f33l like the "main" ones ya know?
And they are now just, one of seemingly two sprite^2 in existence but at least it is not an experience davesprite has to go through alone this time.
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes we would have spent that time together, and it would have turned out to be magical. Trust me.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < god DAMN rose gettin some kitty cat mixed up in ya made you so much HELLA SMUGGER than usual
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i kinda dig it???
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < it suits you
Davepetasprite^2 then suggests continuing the date, which leads onto them discussing their nature as sprite^2 and their relation to their... constituent parts and that they are now, relatively independent of who they were before.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i also gotta figure out what to do with my life now!
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < or my pseudo life, whatever the hell it is you have when youre a sprite^2
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Then what do you want to do with your pseudo-life?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hmmmmmm
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < aw man youre gonna think im crazy for even saying this...
JASPROSESPRITE^2: I already think we're both crazy.
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i have this weird urge......
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < to go fight lord english
JASPROSESPRITE^2: What the fuck?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < I KNOW RIGHT!
But first, he sets off to greet some friends unknown.
GRIST RIG
ARQuiusprite finishes up the construction of Dave's home. Completing the required Grist Deployment System. It turns out this is who Davepetasprite was going to see.
Dave and Dirk are getting along a lot better now. It is a joy to see.
I am beginning to feel like this has just been a long series of me saying I like things in Homestuck.
DAVE: i guess i mean coming around to a place where i dont have to feel rotten all the time anymore
DAVE: and i guess im lucky i got to blunder into a reality that just happened to have the exact right version of a dude > which made that possible for me
DAVE: sorry this fuckin ramble is really getting away from me
DAVE: i have no idea if im making sense anymore
DIRK: I think I get it.
DIRK: And sure.
DIRK: You're welcome for me existing.
DAVE: hey can that be like
DAVE: the motto on our family crest
DIRK: I think it already is.
They then go onto their own lightning round of family get-t-know-you-s! And then, how Dirk came out. God I am not doing this part any justice in describing it it's just. Really good. Fuck, idk I have a headache after sobbing earlier.
Nepeta and Equius, in some form, have a reunion that is, again, incredibly sweet. The upd8 drawing to a close with the pair having a 'bro hug'.
Thank you for reading, there is like 200 pages of Homestuck left and I do not want this wild ride to end.